We couldn't resist the opportunity to take pictures with Mia and a bunny for Easter! She was beside herself with excitement!! The bunnies were gracious with her for sure.
Sunday, March 31, 2013
Friday, March 29, 2013
And the Joy?
I find it hard sometimes to put my thoughts on paper...and so I do not even begin. And I have doubts that what I write would even matter. But I want to look back on these days and remember the cherished moments, the sacrifices, and even the sick days. I want to remember what my heart felt like to leave my baby each day and go to work - so that someday (hopefully?) when I stay home with her I can be more patient, more compassionate and remember to choose play-time!
But it seems my "sacrifices" are absolutely nothing to compared to what God has recently called a missionary family to endure. I do not know them directly, but the tears of compassionate and disbelief still tore down my cheeks as I read just a glimpse of their story:
http://mrskelleyinkenya.wordpress.com/2013/03/27/the-tender-love-of-god/
Their daughter Hannah was taken abruptly from their lives after just 18 months. They depict the enormous glory of God and the sweet moments of Hannah's final days! My heart cannot help but smile at the joy God has supernaturally bestowed upon them. But I also have to reflect on my own joy - does it really stem from being satisfied in Christ? Or if God decided to rip Mia from my life, could I still hold onto any kind of joy? With the journey we walked to end up with Mia in the first place, I feel as if I literally thank God for her no less than 25 times a day. I do not take her for granted and I understand God's handiwork in this mighty miracle. However, I am not sure my blog would reflect what this missionary family expresses such a short time after her death. I am quick to anger - it is one of my many weaknesses. I have no doubt I would be quick to be angry with God. I would have endless questions and uncertainty. And the joy? Well, I would hope it would return eventually. Yet how I anticipate I would react all stems from having "control" over my heart and my responses! Oh how I rejoice that Jesus Christ has sent the Holy Spirit to watch over me! Just like He has guided this missionary family to a place of peace, I am confident God would do the same for me. Yet, I do pray this particular cup would pass over me!
I see the world differently since Mia was born. My friends always told me it would happen. I hope it is changing me for the better, but I am thankful that nothing changes my God - He is constant and stable no matter what!
But it seems my "sacrifices" are absolutely nothing to compared to what God has recently called a missionary family to endure. I do not know them directly, but the tears of compassionate and disbelief still tore down my cheeks as I read just a glimpse of their story:
http://mrskelleyinkenya.wordpress.com/2013/03/27/the-tender-love-of-god/
Their daughter Hannah was taken abruptly from their lives after just 18 months. They depict the enormous glory of God and the sweet moments of Hannah's final days! My heart cannot help but smile at the joy God has supernaturally bestowed upon them. But I also have to reflect on my own joy - does it really stem from being satisfied in Christ? Or if God decided to rip Mia from my life, could I still hold onto any kind of joy? With the journey we walked to end up with Mia in the first place, I feel as if I literally thank God for her no less than 25 times a day. I do not take her for granted and I understand God's handiwork in this mighty miracle. However, I am not sure my blog would reflect what this missionary family expresses such a short time after her death. I am quick to anger - it is one of my many weaknesses. I have no doubt I would be quick to be angry with God. I would have endless questions and uncertainty. And the joy? Well, I would hope it would return eventually. Yet how I anticipate I would react all stems from having "control" over my heart and my responses! Oh how I rejoice that Jesus Christ has sent the Holy Spirit to watch over me! Just like He has guided this missionary family to a place of peace, I am confident God would do the same for me. Yet, I do pray this particular cup would pass over me!
I see the world differently since Mia was born. My friends always told me it would happen. I hope it is changing me for the better, but I am thankful that nothing changes my God - He is constant and stable no matter what!
Saturday, March 16, 2013
God Did That
As I rocked Mia to sleep tonight, her head on my chest and her feet extended to my knees, I couldn't help but notice how big she is. And I was amazed at how she could have ever fit in my stomach - and how she started from something so small we couldn't even see her. God did that. Think on that for a moment...one itty bitty sperm and one itty bitty egg...and now we have Mia! I stand in awe of the spectacular work of our Creator! I let my thoughts wonder further as I held Mia tight in my arms - how God had chosen her to be my child. And that for whatever reason, she needed to be my firstborn. I often wonder what our first baby would have been like (whom we lost in Sept 2010) - was it a boy or a girl? Would he/she have been easy like Mia or would we have struggled with sleepless nights or crying all the time? Would I have been able to cherish every second with that first baby like I do with Mia - or would I have taken some things for granted because there was no hardship in that journey? How would our marriage be different? The questions are endless really! I don't let myself go there very often - but tonight it was reflection on how God hand-picked Mia and how incredibly grateful blessed I am to be her Mommy.
Wednesday, March 6, 2013
Success!
Today was a success! Depending on your definition of success of course. I worked from home while taking care of Mia. She played so well by herself and I was able to get in about a half day of work. And squeezed in a few chores around the house. Considering she took 2 very short naps, I'd say it calls for success. And it goes without saying that the best part was getting to spend the entire day with her:)
My attitude towards today could have been much different...but a friend recently shared her heart on her blog about things we think we deserve as a mother. That after all the serving we do each day, we deserve some time to ourselves - that our children should nap and sleep well during the night. But God changed her heart to see that we deserve nothing (which includes His love for us). That when we do get time to ourselves, it is an unexpected treasure. She said so much more with a lot more grace (in fact, I may have butchered it a little!). The point being, she gave me perspective on my day before it even started. I could have easily gotten frustrated with Mia and with God for not having a break at all today. Ask questions like: "why can't she just nap for even an hour?", "how am I suppose to get any work done?", "why do I even have to work at all?". I an thankful there was no frustration. In fact, my heart reflected gratitude at 4am when Mia woke up hungry - I was blessed to enjoy that time with her! Now that didn't mean I agreed she should wake up again at her usual 6:30am....but I went with it:)
So today was a success above the simple tasks of the day - God captured my heart through my friends words and kept my eyes on Him instead of myself.
My attitude towards today could have been much different...but a friend recently shared her heart on her blog about things we think we deserve as a mother. That after all the serving we do each day, we deserve some time to ourselves - that our children should nap and sleep well during the night. But God changed her heart to see that we deserve nothing (which includes His love for us). That when we do get time to ourselves, it is an unexpected treasure. She said so much more with a lot more grace (in fact, I may have butchered it a little!). The point being, she gave me perspective on my day before it even started. I could have easily gotten frustrated with Mia and with God for not having a break at all today. Ask questions like: "why can't she just nap for even an hour?", "how am I suppose to get any work done?", "why do I even have to work at all?". I an thankful there was no frustration. In fact, my heart reflected gratitude at 4am when Mia woke up hungry - I was blessed to enjoy that time with her! Now that didn't mean I agreed she should wake up again at her usual 6:30am....but I went with it:)
So today was a success above the simple tasks of the day - God captured my heart through my friends words and kept my eyes on Him instead of myself.
Monday, March 4, 2013
Weight and Walking
Mia has become a little miss piggy! She loves to eat all sorts of fruits and veggies - especially when I mix them together (avocado and pears, carrots and peas, bananas, green beans). But this has not limited her breastfeeding, in fact, she seems to drink more. Healthy, growing baby! Although, from her weight you wouldn't be able to tell she eats so much. I took her to the doctor today to make sure she didn't have an ear infection (which she didn't) and she weighed 14lbs 15oz. Only a 14oz increase from her 6 month check up a month ago (and she was wearing a wet diaper) - has not yet doubled her birth weight. No concern from this momma though...tall and skinny runs on both sides of the family.
In other news, Mia is "walking" every chance she gets. We hold onto her hands and guide her forward and she puts one foot in front of the other. She practically runs when the kitty is in front of her. So I do believe she may walk before she crawls. She has not yet figured out how to put her knees underneath her to get some leverage...probably because she is not on her stomach long enough to wiggle them under. Standing and walking are a much better option in her mind.
In other news, Mia is "walking" every chance she gets. We hold onto her hands and guide her forward and she puts one foot in front of the other. She practically runs when the kitty is in front of her. So I do believe she may walk before she crawls. She has not yet figured out how to put her knees underneath her to get some leverage...probably because she is not on her stomach long enough to wiggle them under. Standing and walking are a much better option in her mind.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)